blindness and seeing

"The blind Frenchman Jacques Lusseyran describes how fear was the only thing that truly prevented him seeing,: 'Still, there were times when the light faded, almost to the point of disappearing. It happened every time I was afraid. if, instead of letting myself be carried along by confidence and throw myself into things, I hesitated, calculated, thought about the wall, the half-open door, the key in the lock; if i said to myself that all these things were hostile and about to strike or scratch, then without exception I hit or wounded myself. The only easy way to move around the house, the garden or the beach was by not thinking about it at all, or thinking as little as possible. Then I moved between obstacles the way they say bats do. Otherwise what the loss of my eyes had not accomplished was brought about by fear. It made me blind.'" 

This quote really struck me last night. In part because of the story of the blind girl in All the Light We Cannot See and in part because of the beautiful truth it speaks so eloquently. As all of the known parts of her life fall away from her piece by piece from the war, she garners her strength and senses and is able to see what is essential. There are these beautiful passages too where her uncle takes her on these journeys of the imagination, through the jungles of the amazon, deep into the sea, etc... He takes her there through music as well. That is where the song Claire de Lune comes into play, because it is so evocative for her. As I have already said about the book, she is very clearly the least blind of all of the characters of the book, though she is the only one who lacks vision. That is also true for my character Ordelia, she can only see shadows because she is albino. But in the book she says, "The shadows illuminate everything." In not seeing fully, she can see what's really important, what others cannot see as clearly. For me, this process Lusseyran speaks about so eloquently is a constant work in progress, to not be blind in this life.